Was Everybody Happy?
Happy New Year! Who among us didn’t say this at least once in the past few days? I suspect it was the most repeated phrase uttered in every language across the globe. And its wishful thought is probably one we actually mean, at least for ourselves and those closest to us—if not for everyone with whom we share this moment on earth. Who doesn’t hope the new year has many happy moments? And who doesn’t hope it will come, and in abundance, in the immediate future? We may disagree on what we believe holds the most importance or value in life, but one aspiration and goal is universal—we all want to be happy, or enjoy happiness as often as we can.
But what is happiness, really? A feeling or mood that wells up inside of us at certain times, or with certain people or when doing certain things? An attitude that some seem to possess more than others? Is happiness something we can control, program, arrange, or guarantee? Or is it an unpredictable, elusive consequence of something else? Put another way, is being happy a goal we can ever attain, or a derivative feeling that often overwhelms us when we accomplish or attain something of value to us?
Years ago a popular band leader named Ted Lewis became a household name thanks to the trademark rhetorical question he asked his audiences during his performances: “Is Everybody Happy?” You probably never heard of him, his star having long set by the time rock and roll and television made relics of big bands and vaudeville stage shows. My childhood recollections of his raspy voice, crumpled top hat and irrepressible slogan take me back to his black and white image on Ed Sullivan as well as to those parodies of his famous question on Bugs Bunny cartoons and in one particularly sarcastic aria—sung by the devil no less—in Broadway’s Damn Yankees.
Mr. Lewis may be long gone, but his question remains one worth pondering at any time of life, but especially at the start of a new year. Was anybody happy in 2021? Really happy? And does anybody hope to be in the year now unfolding? I’d like to think I’m a happy person, most of the time. As I look back over the years of my own childhood, adolescence, and college; of my days as a young married man, as a father of two, and now as a grandfather; and as I think about those moments in which I seemed to be enjoying life the most—at work and at home, with family and friends, on vacation, or just content in moments of solitude—I wonder how happy my life has been. This isn’t a morbid thought, just an honest reflection of whatever it was that made me happy, or whatever I should hope will bring me happiness in the days ahead.
If happiness were about unbridled laughter, smiles and frivolity, then I’d say that most of my life hasn’t quite measured up. While I enjoy a good laugh and get my kicks out of satirical humor and good-natured teasing, these are momentary pleasures for sure. Yet I’ve found my greatest joy in the more subtle and everyday routines of a day’s work, or sharing a meal with loved ones, harmonizing with others in song, getting lost in a good book or watching accomplished actors bring a touching story to life on screen. Isn’t this happiness? Can we be happy and actually know it in any one moment, or is happiness only appreciated in after-the-fact reminiscence?
It was during my happy years as a chaplain at Wyoming Seminary College Prep School that I was first exposed to what was being called the “formula” for happiness. Shared by our school president, Dr. Wallace Stettler, who, like me, was a preacher who found a home in education, he included this quotation in one of his inspirational talks:
"The three grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, someone to love, and something to hope for."
They were not words he penned, but words he believed in and embraced in a most upbeat, optimistic life. Traceable to a 19th Century Congregational Minister, George Washington Burnap, the saying has resonated with me ever since I first heard it years ago. Its three prescriptions ring true in my own reckonings about whether or not I am, ever was happy, or ever will be happy. And they capture what I observe in others who seem to exude a happiness in their lives that is more than superficial or disingenuous.
Happiness stirs within us when we have something meaningful to do. I’m not talking about just anything to do, any busyness to occupy our time, for that can be little more than spirit-killing drudgery. As one who has worked both menial and meaningful jobs in my life, I can attest to the power of the latter to make one happy. To be involved in work that we find important and of value to ourselves and others; to be engaged in pursuits that spur us to think and to exert purposeful energy; to be caught up in projects that pique our interest, trigger our curiosity and stimulate our creativity—can there be anything that makes us feel better or more needed?
Happiness envelops us when we have someone to love. No two of us has the same social needs and appetites. Some of us crave crowds and parties, others of us are more inclined to intimate associations and solitude. But all of us, at some level of our being, need the companionship of a friend, soul mate or lover. There is no greater satisfaction than when we sense that the love we feel for another is accepted by them and returned to us in kind. In such relationships our deepest moments of happiness are to be found.
Happiness inspires us when we have something worthwhile to hope for. While it is true that we can only live in one moment at a time—that being the present—so much of the joy and meaning in life rests upon what we expect to see, feel, touch and taste in the future. Genuine hope, however, is much more than pipe dreams of fairy godmothers granting our wishes or knights in shining armor rescuing us in a crisis. Hope is born of faith, not magic. It is that inner trust that, against all odds, we will endure to see a better day. It is that deep-set confidence that something good, something worthwhile will come our way in the next few moments, days or years, if we keep our eyes, and our hearts open to its appearance. Hopes that blend optimism about future possibilities with a realism about likely outcomes are essential to lifting one’s spirits and sustaining one’s outlook. Hope is the fertile ground upon which happiness can grow, for the hopeful heart is a happy one too, believing in a tomorrow that will be worth the living.
Was I happy in 2021? Were you? Will we be happy in the coming year? I suspect for all us that answer will be yes, inasmuch as we have been and will continue to be engaged in work that is meaningful and memorable. That answer will be yes as long as we continue to be embraced in relationships in which our love for someone else is requited and treasured. And that answer will be in the affirmative as often as we will ourselves to be hopeful—hopeful that there will be life and love, joy and purpose for us in our tomorrows—just as we’ve come to expect, recognize and hold dear, in our yesterdays.
